Ten Reasons Why Americans Should Not Consider Canada An Extension of Themselves…

1. If Tim Horton ran for Canadian office he would hands-down-balls-to-the-wall-win.

2. As with most other countries in the world Canada has gotten the memo about the metric system being used virtually everywhere… and has therefore changed accordingly. I am going to write to Obama about this. This is change I can believe in.

3. Poutine (Quebec French pronunciation Pronunciation-of-Poutine.ogg putsɪn (help·info)) is a dish consisting of French fries topped with fresh cheese curds, covered with brown gravy and sometimes additional ingredients.

My definition: a sneeky way that Canadians lure and slowly kill American tourists. One heart attack at a time.

4. The Crisper is, in fact, the correct name for the vegetable drawer in your fridge.

5. Milk in a  bag. Short story: I looked like a dumbass trying to pour milk into my cereal the first morning. I am 21 and could not seem to get it in the bowl. (other short story: one of my New Year’s resolutions is to stop swearing…more on that later….but dumbass really is the proper term here)

6. The active and slightly skinnier traffic signs represent what a general population probably should look like. Amazing that they have a doughnut shop on every corner yet only 23.1% of their population can be considered obese compared to America’s 62-67%. Amazing, I know.

7. My sterotype of almost all Canadians either playing or watching hockey was generally true.

8.They call their one dollar coins lunies. So a dollar store is called the lunie store.

9. Queen Elizabeth II is the sovereign head of state in Canada. That’s right, Canada is still a common wealth of England. If you don’t believe me… look at their currency. Pretty bitchen if you ask me. (Somehow Canadians did their independence the right way for England simply granted it to them. We had all this revolutionary business. I do not pretend to have the answers. This would require more research)

10. If none of these reasons suit you completely I can only insert that they do, in fact, have their own flag. Ir’s red and white with a huge maple leaf in the middle. Quite beautiful but most certainly not an attribution to the fifty states of the union.

No joke: I have a new obsession with Canada.

Back in Chicago, Kasey


~ by kmconrad on January 5, 2009.

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