I feel like my life can be best described by my Google searches from this week…

•July 23, 2009 • Leave a Comment

they are as follows…

“True Blood”
“is urine acidic or basic?”
“moon cycles and pregnancy”
“Summer Time-New Kids on the Block”
“Harry Wong, The first days of school”
“what eats fruit fly larva”
“New Hampshire bars”
“worm reproduction”
“Chicago coffee houses”
“Associated Press”

and the list continues…

Hosptial Visits

•July 14, 2009 • Leave a Comment

I have always had an aversion to hospitals and I suppose, or at least hope, that most people would understand why.

There are a small sliver of experiences you can have when you are on the receiving end of a hospital visit and most of them involve public nudity and plastic tubing.

Joy.

And the best part is that after you get scanned, attached to large beeping equipment (you know, so you don’t run away) stripped of your street clothes and given a standard blue smock, you get jello and overcooked mashed potatoes on a just sanitized plastic tray.

Ef, the similarities between the hospital and jail are frightening.

So, when I got the call that my mother was admitted I was all but excited.
Before we go any further, my mom is fine. Without going into too much detail she was having some sort of lower body pain and they are trying to figure out where it is coming from.

Either way, my dislike for hospitals was met with the honest reality that good people become better versions of themselves when they are faced with tragedy.

There are two sides to this story… while I would never wish a hospital visit onto anyone it is refreshing to see an honest desire in someone to love and protect someone they love.

“Winter” in the Middle of Summer

•July 11, 2009 • Leave a Comment

And if I said I’m sorry too many times its because

I just wanted desperately to make you love me

Darling if the sun could shine in bright than your distractions

I would climb into him

Light myself on fire

Days filled with sweet sunlight, passerby, and Noah Gunderson. Check him out if you get a chance. This song plays in my head even when there is no music to be found.

Different Legs

•July 8, 2009 • Leave a Comment

I’ve been rather calculated in terms of my existence lately. Things are done on a time schedule and at this point in my life… it’s necessary.

For example, I have a scheduled time to think… if that tells you what plane of existence the early parts of July have already revolved around.

I accepted a teaching job and, while I would love to tell the story, I am sure that the lather parts of my blog will be filled with reflections concerning my inadequacies as a new teacher.

This particular corner of the world wide web should be dedicated to Caroline.

The first things Caroline told me was that she had been waiting for camp for weeks, that she had a twin brother, and that she did not want to talk about her legs.

Caroline has cerebral palsy.

But do not feel bad for Caroline.

She also posses infectious laughter, a silly run, an arsenal of 1st grade jokes, a willingness to be a friend to anyone, and an uncontrollable urge to tell me and everyone whom might ask that she does not have bad legs but different legs.

I was assigned to shadow Caroline and, to be honest, the prospect of caring for a child with a disability scared me a little.

Well, ashamedly… a lot.

I guess there are a lot of profound observations can be postulated from even the basics of this situation. To be honest, the best thing about hanging out with Caroline is that I get to share in the joy of a 1st grader’s life a little bit more closely. If I reach for specifics, I love watching her twin brother Charles love his younger (by ten minutes!) sister. I love watching her run in her braces next to the other children and I most certainly love to laugh.

Caroline: “Ms. Kasey, What is a teacher’s favorite snack?”

Me: “Gee, I have no idea! What is a teacher’s favorite snack?!?”

Caroline: “Chalk-late! GET IT?”

Really, there is not a single more better way to spend my time.

Life is short and most certainly delicate and I find myself thanking God for making legs that were “different” than mine.

My dependency on the poorer novelties in life most certainly outweigh her dependency on others to help her get on and off the camp tram. While I would never be ungrateful to my own body, I find a bit of me envious. I hope I can one day learn how to lean and love on others as Caroline does. As Caroline has to, I suppose.

It is funny how much time I have wasted feeling bad for people who are in “lesser” circumstances than my own.

Silly, really.

Because when I look at most situations seriously I should be humbled how little I really know and appalled at how little my love really is.

K

Things Achieved This Weekend…

•June 29, 2009 • Leave a Comment

1. Sunburn
2. Dancing with 40-Year-Old Women at a New Kids On The Block Concert
3. An entire bag of trail mix
4. Several mosquito bite from walking in the woods with Matt
5. Consumption of delicious beverages that would have been illegal to drink two years ago
6. A bloody lip from a travel mug that was thrown from a Home Depot float in the gay pride parade
7. Dancing with a strobe light
8. Dancing with a drag queen
9. Swimming in Lake Michigan in shorts and a tank top
10. sunburn (again)

Afternoon Strolls

•June 26, 2009 • Leave a Comment

Lately I have been finding it hard to justify why it is important to be a Christian.

I spent the lather half of the afternoon walking around Albany Park. I am so sad that North Parkers do not get to experience the summer city. It has a life of its’ own.

I walked past a woman sitting in her front lawn with a set of prayer beads. Aside from her face she was completely covered. As I walked past she looked up and smiled at me.

In an instant I felt honored to be in her presence.

I feel like I have been so relativistic… only surrounding myself with people who are influenced by the same writers and teachers as me.

Foolish nonsense really. I have some time to read and to think and the best part is that I don’t mind spending lots of time alone.

Today was so hot

•June 23, 2009 • Leave a Comment

that I considered driving home from the gardens with my pants off.

Seriously.